The fever

The desire to procreate is strong. The distaste for my IUD is strong.
Oh, to actually plan a pregnancy!  To have a child out of love and desire-on purpose!
To rub a swollen belly; to snuggle a cuddly, warm, needy infant; nourishment from my breast; the smell; the love.
It is always on my mind. Every day for years. Much heartache and sadness every time Age reminds me there will be NO MORE children. Such painful reminders. Such strong physiological cravings to be with child. To raise another.
My chest hurts with the sadness.
Incomplete.
Please Lord, may I carry another child? It is my heart's desire. Is it yours?